Black Tanya Gets to Know Me
I have a friend named Black Tanya. She doesn't know that I call her Black Tanya, but I know three Tanyas and so I give each one of them a nickname when talking to other friends to keep them straight. In fact, Black Tanya isn't the only black Tanya that I know, but I couldn't possibly call the other Tanya, Black Tanya (the other Tanya is very religious). The nickname, Black Tanya (how many times can I write that?) is a tribute to Black Emmanuelle, the series of erotic movies developed in the late 70s and early 80s starring Laura Gemser. We here in Quebec would see these and other erotic films late at night during Bleu Nuit, which would come on late on Saturday nights on TQS. Everybody, but everybody, watched Bleu Nuit. Sabrina Sextina and I have spent much time reminiscing about the best of the Black Emmanuelle films: Emmanuelle et les filles de Madame Claude. Actually, Sabrina Sextina looks a lot more like Laura Gemser than does Black Tanya, but Sabrina Sextina already has a nickname.
So, Black Tanya, you always send me these emails and now I am answering it for all the world to see! Here, my dear friend, and only because I love you so, is the latest installment of "Getting to know your friends."
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
I'd have to buy a first house, but it wouldn't be in North America. And if it was, it would be in the country, rather than in the city.
2. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
Underwear. Pretty, pretty underwear. Not bras, panties.
3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Kanye West (both of his CDs) in order to provoke a spike in sales after he said that George Bush doesn't care about black people. In fact, I don't think George Bush cares about anyone outside of his personal circle, so screw you Women, Blacks, Jews, Steel Workers, Southerners, North-Easterners, Blue States, Red States and everyone except Condoleeza Rice. Oh, wait. She's black. And I think he is screwing her too. Update: DM points out that NNDB has the Condi calls Dubya "husband" on their page.
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
I usually get up between 7am and 9am no matter what. This morning, I awoke at 7am.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
My handheld blender thingy.
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Well, Black Tanya, as you know I already play guitar and piano, but I wouldn't mind taking up the saxophone or the violin.
7. FAVORITE COLOR?
Usually red. Right now, aubergine.
8. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
Sports car. And by that I mean an actual sports car. This one will do:
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE?
Yes. Oh yes I do.
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Ahh...what a toss up. Let me list a few:
Sing a Soft Black Song (apparently out of print except on my bookshelf)
The Adventures of Fathead, Roundhead and Squarehead (ditto above)
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish (I read it all by myself!)
Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret and other books by Judy Blume
This Can't be Happening at McDonald Hall and other books by Gordon Korman
The Bobbsey Twins (the entire series by Laura Lee Hope)
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
The Fall, commonly known as "autumn." Let's be frank, I like the clothes for this season.
12. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
Oooh. I do have a tattoo. How many of y'all know that? Black Tanya, did you know that? It's written in Tibetan. Not telling you what it says!
13. IF YOU HAD A SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would take the power to freeze that Piper Halliwell has on Charmed. Unfortunately, Sabrina Sextina thinks that I would abuse that power. I so would not!
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Something tells me no. Wait, I can juggle many tasks at once.
15. THE ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
My Auntie Jane. She died dude. I acted really crazy at the funeral - they removed me from the church. Is that bad? Actually, I still talk to her.
16. WHAT IS IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR?
What car?
17. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
I guess I'd have to pick my birthday, since I'm forced to pick something. Did you mean day of the week? I guess I'll pick Thursday.
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGERS?
I think I prefer sushi. It depends on my mood.
19. OF THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
No one, unless they reply in the comments section of this post.
20. WHO'S THE LEAST LIKELY TO REPLY?
Everyone, since I have requested no replies.
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
Geez. I got it from you, Black Tanya!
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
I got some cool orange flowers the other day. They were nice. Oh, and a couple weeks before that I got some other white flowers that were quite nice. I don't know the names of flowers. My mum does though.
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
See http://mutualmastication.blogspot.com/.
24. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
December 13th. It's my favourite day, right?
25. WHAT CELEBRITY DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON?
None. Well. I'll say the following (but they have to be in character):
Benjamin Bratt as Detective Rey Curtis on Law and Order
Julian McMahon as Cole Turner on Charmed
Wait...I'm an idiot. I'm changing my answer to Tony Leung Chiu-Wai as Broken Sword.
So, Black Tanya, when we meet next week you'd better be prepared, 'cause I'm quizzing you. Love ya babe.
Kisses,
Laurelle
So, Black Tanya, you always send me these emails and now I am answering it for all the world to see! Here, my dear friend, and only because I love you so, is the latest installment of "Getting to know your friends."
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
I'd have to buy a first house, but it wouldn't be in North America. And if it was, it would be in the country, rather than in the city.
2. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
Underwear. Pretty, pretty underwear. Not bras, panties.
3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Kanye West (both of his CDs) in order to provoke a spike in sales after he said that George Bush doesn't care about black people. In fact, I don't think George Bush cares about anyone outside of his personal circle, so screw you Women, Blacks, Jews, Steel Workers, Southerners, North-Easterners, Blue States, Red States and everyone except Condoleeza Rice. Oh, wait. She's black. And I think he is screwing her too. Update: DM points out that NNDB has the Condi calls Dubya "husband" on their page.
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
I usually get up between 7am and 9am no matter what. This morning, I awoke at 7am.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
My handheld blender thingy.
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Well, Black Tanya, as you know I already play guitar and piano, but I wouldn't mind taking up the saxophone or the violin.
7. FAVORITE COLOR?
Usually red. Right now, aubergine.
8. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
Sports car. And by that I mean an actual sports car. This one will do:
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE?
Yes. Oh yes I do.
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Ahh...what a toss up. Let me list a few:
Sing a Soft Black Song (apparently out of print except on my bookshelf)
The Adventures of Fathead, Roundhead and Squarehead (ditto above)
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish (I read it all by myself!)
Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret and other books by Judy Blume
This Can't be Happening at McDonald Hall and other books by Gordon Korman
The Bobbsey Twins (the entire series by Laura Lee Hope)
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
The Fall, commonly known as "autumn." Let's be frank, I like the clothes for this season.
12. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
Oooh. I do have a tattoo. How many of y'all know that? Black Tanya, did you know that? It's written in Tibetan. Not telling you what it says!
13. IF YOU HAD A SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would take the power to freeze that Piper Halliwell has on Charmed. Unfortunately, Sabrina Sextina thinks that I would abuse that power. I so would not!
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Something tells me no. Wait, I can juggle many tasks at once.
15. THE ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
My Auntie Jane. She died dude. I acted really crazy at the funeral - they removed me from the church. Is that bad? Actually, I still talk to her.
16. WHAT IS IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR?
What car?
17. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
I guess I'd have to pick my birthday, since I'm forced to pick something. Did you mean day of the week? I guess I'll pick Thursday.
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGERS?
I think I prefer sushi. It depends on my mood.
19. OF THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
No one, unless they reply in the comments section of this post.
20. WHO'S THE LEAST LIKELY TO REPLY?
Everyone, since I have requested no replies.
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
Geez. I got it from you, Black Tanya!
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
I got some cool orange flowers the other day. They were nice. Oh, and a couple weeks before that I got some other white flowers that were quite nice. I don't know the names of flowers. My mum does though.
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
See http://mutualmastication.blogspot.com/.
24. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
December 13th. It's my favourite day, right?
25. WHAT CELEBRITY DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON?
None. Well. I'll say the following (but they have to be in character):
Benjamin Bratt as Detective Rey Curtis on Law and Order
Julian McMahon as Cole Turner on Charmed
Wait...I'm an idiot. I'm changing my answer to Tony Leung Chiu-Wai as Broken Sword.
So, Black Tanya, when we meet next week you'd better be prepared, 'cause I'm quizzing you. Love ya babe.
Kisses,
Laurelle
posted by Laurelle St. Laurent at 12:00 a.m.
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