I attract moody people

Moody people are interesting. I can be moody, but I'm generally upbeat about things. However, I try not to place the blame for my moodiness on other people. If I feel moody, I try to keep to myself so that no one feels uncomfortable.

Lately, I have dealt with a couple of people expressing their moodiness in a passive-aggressive manner. When they contact you, they act weird while trying to project that "Problem? There's no problem," vibe. When you decide to go about your own business, they are suddenly very interested in what you're doing and they're oh so sad that we haven't had time to talk. They make slight attempts to indicate that you've been excluded, then wait for a reaction. Really, what they want is a rise out of you so that their general moodiness can be justified. 'Cause they weren't being moody before, right? You made them moody with your reaction, and mine is usually: 'kay, I've gotta go do XYZ now, we'll talk at another time.

We musn't confuse the moody people with people who are busy or going through a hard time. I am often the busy type. Right now, I have a comfortable environment in which to nurture my academic and personal creativity. But, in the past I've been the kind of gal who had to run around with her head cut off. So much so that now I feel lazy and I've got to add things to my plate in order to feel productive. When I've been busy, I have apologized profusely to my friends since they basically get ignored and then when I meet up with them I'm half-asleep or mentally writing the next paragraph in my paper. Thus, to them I appear not to be listening or participating in our current shared activity. Now, I'm all ears. I'm a bundle of advice and companionship to all! So, I'm sympathetic to busy people. Same goes for those who are in a tough place mentally, financially or otherwise. They never imply that you, as a part of the world, have anything to do with their difficulties. They appreciate that you listen to them and try their best to work their way through the situation. As a friend, you offer them some support and deal with them patiently. They do the same from you when your world come crashing down.

This isn't the case with moody people though. Moody people are often mistaken for jealous people because it seems that some aspect of your life is bothering them to no end. Usually, they (falsely) perceive you to be living the life that they should be living. The implication is that you're lucky to have your life, yet undeserving of it. The thing is, they don't know the hardships you face because, since they're so busy being moody, you hesitate to through anything of yourself out there for fear that it becomes further fodder for their moodiness. You find yourself walking on eggshells not quite knowing when said moody person will blow. You dread being there when it happens. You're not the reason behind their moodiness, but when they're ready to burst, any old target will do.

It's sad though. You only end up with moody friends because at the heart of things you love them for one reason or another. Maybe you've seen a side of them that you hope against all hope will resurface soon, maybe you've known them so long they feel like family, maybe you're just trying your best to be understanding without understanding anything at all. Whatever the reasons for it, you end up coddling and accommodating this moody friend without any real idea of what to do about it.

So, what to do...what to do? Let it blow up? Ignore it and remain distant until you see a change? I think I'm going to ask about it. We'll see how that goes.