Vive La Vie Boheme!

We saw it!!! We saw Rent! I'm sorry, I'm going to have to update the review later, I'm just so emotionally drained right now. I've been excited all day and I just cried the whole second half of the movie.

Vive la vie bohème!

One week to go!

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Leela James

Not bad...see for yourself.

A History of Violence (Viggo is Hot!)

Guess which movie I saw tonight?











Yeah. It's a Cronenberg flick. I suppose everyone's seen it already. I think it came out several months ago.

Holy graphic sexual content Batman! I mean, we didn't get any porn-style close-ups but there was no mistaking what was going on. We saw, and I'll use the technical terms, mutual oral gratification, solo oral gratification, manual stimulation of the female genitalia, role playing, and rough copulation. But, here's the thing, it was all within the context of a very loving relationship. No, really. It's true. Tom (Viggo Mortensen) and Edie (Maria Bello) are these two people who are so truly and deeply in love and their physical expressions of that love, no matter how graphic, leave you with a very satisfying feeling. (Umm...yeah...not in that way, kind of. Yeah, Viggo is hot.)

Viggo Mortensen plays Tom Stalls, a quiet, unassuming midwestern family man who runs a diner in the center of the very small town of Millbrook, Indiana. The film opens with two violent criminals on the lam who go from small town to small town robbing and murdering ordinary people randomly and at will. They make the mistake of visiting Tom's diner with the intention of robbing the cash register. Instead of taking the money and leaving, they attempt to humiliate Tom, his employees and his patrons by raping a female employee before proceeding to murder them all. Tom takes it upon himself to very expertly de-arm and execute the two criminals, making himself a national hero and attracting the attention of a few very shady men in black who insist that Tom has an impressive history of violence. I talked about the sex because I can't talk about the film. I absolutely loved this film. I laughed during the most inappropriate moments. I consider that a good thing. The end was real. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night with a couple of friends who like to talk about anarchy.*

*Anarchy is a viable political system. Anarchy does not mean chaos, violence or revolution. It means a decentralized, horizontal system of self-management and mutual responsibility. It is a system that adheres to the essence of democratic values - it is participatory, transparent and inclusive. Want more info? Email me.

My Fabulous Karaoke Weekend

Yaaaaaaayyyyyy!!! It's a well known fact that I LOVE karaoke. It's a little known fact that people NEVER want to go with me. Suffice it to say, I rarely get to indulge in this little fetish. Well, tonight my dreams came true!

Last night I received a little phone call from Ms. Sabrina Sextina. It went a little something like this:


Me: Hello
Her: Hey
Me: Hey, what's up?
Her: Not much, not much. Watcha doin'?
Me: Eh, getting ready to meet Roxane.
Her: Who's Roxane?
Me: The girl who lived in Spain for a while.
Her: Oh.
Me: Yeah.
Her: Sooo...what are you doing tomorrow night?
Me: Not much. Grading, I guess.
Her: Well...we were thinking of going to karaoke and I know you think no one ever wants to go with you, so I'm inviting you.
Me: Hahahahahahahaha. Heeheeheeheeheeheehee. NO WAY! Really?
Her: Ok, you're too excited.
Me: Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!! Yaaaaaaaayyyyy! Hahahahahahahaha. Yes! Let's go!!! Thanks for inviting meeeeeee.
Her: Okay, I don't know now. You're way too excited.
Me: Heeeeeeeeeeee. I love karaoke!!!!
Her: I'll give you a call tomorrow.

And so we went! Tonight! It was me, Sabrina Sextina, John Jackoff and Richard. Yeah, I know. That last name's kind of plain. Blame his parents.

We went to the kind of karaoke joint that offers private rooms. I have to say, it was all very Lost in Translation. The place is run by some really young, hipster Japanese guys with wayward youngsters loitering in the foyer. It's a very dodgy place. Somehow, we felt right at home. We knew we'd be loudly screaming every song, so we obviously needed to be someplace where we wouldn't disturb the tuttering set.

I still feel so excited! I don't think I could possibly describe the way I feel, but let me tell you that not all songs are suitable for karaoke. Destiny's Child is not suitable karaoke. Funnily enough, Green Day is suitable karaoke. So is Queen. We performed a rousing rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody". Sextina and I also belted out a mean "Rock and Roll all Night" by KISS. We even stood up and rocked out (there are couches in each private room, so we mostly lounged around and sang.) Jackoff and Richard did an excellent "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" and Sextina and Jackoff performed a very competent "Wanted Dead or Alive." Later, Sextina and I to' up the place Detroit-style with Eminem's "Lose Yourself." Detroit whaaatt? Yeah, but I have to give the award of the evening to Richard for his mind-blowing rendition of a song that I have never heard of before called "The United States of Whatever." He rocked it! (Did I just say that?) It was hilarious! I had to look up the actual song, and I have to say that Richard's version is better! See the video from BBC Radio 1 here.

Yeah, baby! I love karaoke. Sextina promised to go once a month! I'm holding you to it baby! Thanks for inviting me!! I love you!!!!! (I said that last part so that she won't be mad that I posted more pictures of her. Don't her and Jackoff make a great couple?)

Remembrance Day

It's Remembrance Day!

Thanks guys for saving us from bad stuff!








In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, saw dawn, felt sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up your quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

The Simpsons Wax Poetic about Terrible Life Choices

My friend Ece, who made the same stupid decision that I did, sent me a video to drive the point home. Here it is - The Simpsons are so right people...

Hard Day

Well, today was a hard day - one of those days where a good, solid hug would have helped me to feel like much less of an idiot.

Yesterday, as promised, I spoke to the McGill task force on student life and learning. I was very nervous because some of the things I said may have offended people who work very hard to make McGill work. Unfortunately, the efforts of a few don't always compensate for the disingenuousness of the many. I have gotten positive feedback from at least 2 members of the task force. Hopefully, I did more help than harm.

Sometimes you feel like everyone has the tip of a knife pressed into the skin of your back. One wrong move and the blade sinks in. Just like that, you're dead (figuratively speaking). I feel really unprotected today, really alone, really stupid and ineffective. This even after several of my students have thanked me for helping them. I need an escape. I don't drink and I don't take drugs. I don't have anyone's arms to fall into for comfort. I feel strong and happy on most days, but on days like today I really, really need someone to tell me that I am not an idiot, that I can do this and that everything will be okay. Physically and intellectually I am okay, emotionally I sometimes feel like I'm dragging my feet. Even a small squeeze of the hand would be of some comfort.

I really, really miss you Auntie Jane. If you really are looking over me, please help me get to sleep.

Is anybody surprised? The US used chemical weapons in Iraq

Italian investigative journalists have discovered that the US used the chemical weapon white phosphorus known in military circles as willy pete against Sunni civilians. If you follow these things, you'll realize that Sunnis are the onces who most oppose the current US occupation of Iraq. They are also more likely to support Saddam Hussein as he is also a Sunni.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/11/7/11819/9522
http://www.repubblica.it/2005/k/sezioni/esteri/iraq71/rainews/rainews.html


If you read the article, you'll notice this quote about halfway through:

Avevo raccolto testimonianze sull'uso del fosforo e del Napalm da alcuni profughi di Falluja che avrei dovuto incontrare prima di essere rapita - dice nel servizio la giornalista del Manifesto rapita in Iraq (proprio a Falluja) nel febbraio scorso, Giuliana Sgrena, a Rai News 24 - Avrei voluto raccontare tutto questo, ma i miei rapitori non me l'hanno permesso.

I gathered accounts of the use of phosphorus and napalm from a few Fallujah refugees whom I met before being kidnapped, says Manifesto reporter Giuliana Sgrena, who was kidnapped in Fallujah last February, in a recorded interview. I wanted to get the story out, but my kidnappers would not permit it.

Umm...remember this: Italian Journalist in Iraq is Nearly Killed by Friendly Fire and this: US troops fired on the car transporting Mr Calipari and newly-freed hostage Giuliana Sgrena, an Italian journalist.

Yup. It looks like somebody somewhere didn't want news of the destruction caused by Willy Pete out into the universe. I've given you quite a good bit of hand-holding here, so, if you need me to string this together for you even more, then email laurellestlaurent@gmail.com.

Americans, please, stop falling for the rhetoric of your corrupt leaders. They do kill people for speaking the truth freely. They do knowingly kill civilians to make a quick buck off of oil. They do not love freedom and democracy. Stop equating yourselves with your leaders - criticize them, demand that they leave office. You pay the taxes that support this evil and corruption, which is something Henry David Thoreau would never do.

[9] I have never declined paying the highway tax, because I am as desirous of being a good neighbor as I am of being a bad subject; and as for supporting schools, I am doing my part to educate my fellow-countrymen now. It is for no particular item in the tax-bill that I refuse to pay it. I simply wish to refuse allegiance to the State, to withdraw and stand aloof from it effectually. I do not care to trace the course of my dollar, if I could, till it buys a man or a musket to shoot one with—the dollar is innocent—but I am concerned to trace the effects of my allegiance. In fact, I quietly declare war with the State, after my fashion, though I will still make what use and get what advantage of her I can, as is usual in such cases.

(Note: Thoreau refused to support with his taxes what he considered to be an illegal war against Mexico).

Witness the present Mexican war,(2) the work of comparatively a few individuals using the standing government as their tool; for, in the outset, the people would not have consented to this measure (ref)

Melancholy

Well, I've been quite melancholy this last week. Maybe it was cabin fever from being cooped up in here "on my retreat" for most of the week or maybe I'm just PMSing. The point is that I've been overly reflective and I have analysed myself, my feelings, my desires and my goals to the point of oblivion. Oh, I've laughed a lot this week too. I learned a long time ago that no amount of melancholy is worth feeling so badly about yourself that you can't enjoy life. You can be melancholy and still enjoy what's there to be enjoyed. It's like a friend and I were talking about earlier - try to minimize how badly you can feel at any moment. For example, why look like trash when you feel a little run down inside? The last thing you need is to be able to say: "On top of the fact that I had a bad day, my hair looks like crap and I belong on this site."

Anyway, despite my inner turmoil a lot of nice things have happened. I've been grading the second midterm for the class I am TAing and, so far, I am pleased with the results. I actually had a smile on my face while reading some of these exams. My students really stepped up to the challenge. On the first midterm, they did quite poorly. This is due in part to the fact that the professor seems to have extracted his ideas about how to teach the material from the year 1859. I've never seen so many references to the monarchy having a place in the Canadian political system. Most people generally think, "what monarchy?" and everybody else just ignores it. I've asked myself many times if this professor is a monarchist. I'm almost to the point of asking him. Don't tempt me, I'll do it. Anyway, this guy's pedagogical method involved the students having no access to the TAs before the first midterm so that he could "see who comes out on top." Now, I know that you know that the absence of clear objectives and a lack of feedback is detrimental to the learning process. However, this prof also said that "if you get an A at McGill you pick your future." I hope he sees this post and recognizes himself in this description because I think he is doing more damage than good to both his own career and to the future academic potential of these students. One bad experience can kill a student's confidence.

So, for the second midterm I gave them strict instructions about how to answer an exam question so that you clearly expose what you know beyond any doubt. I begged them to email me at any time up to two hours before the exam to clarify anything about the exam material. I insisted that no matter what the question give me a critique or analysis of some aspect of the concept in question (these exam questions are definitional, like "Define and discuss the significance of Liberalism," which is misleading to the novice student.) Well, several students' exams are so good that it's almost like they're flipping me the bird! They're telling me where to go with their excellent answers. I love it! I'm so proud of them. I told them not to give me any reason to give them anything but an A. If the prof sees too many As, he will review the exams, so they musn't leave any room for debate. I will not grade on a damn curve! I will give out as many high grades as are merited.

Tomorrow, I speak before the McGill Principal's Task Force on Student Life and Learning. A few months ago I submitted a lengthy report to the task force and they've asked me to present on it. In my report I lament the grading system at McGill, which disadvantages top McGill students in at least two ways; and the corporate culture at McGill, which results in an unhelpful, belligerent administrative staff that hinders student progress. I'll expound upon this issue a little more tomorrow after I present my report.

Back to my melancholiness, though. Sigh. I wonder if I'm not entagling myself in an emotional situation from which it will be difficult to extract myself. I wonder if I'm not headed towards the same old emotional disappointment that seems to find me no matter which way I turn, no matter how hard I try to lose it in the maze. I think I need some sort of talisman to clear the air around me; I must have collected years of ill will by now. Or, maybe I have so much good around me - so much outstanding luck and support - that I have to forgo one elusive form of personal happiness in order to experience all the rest. I guess never really aging, receiving amazing amounts of academic support, getting government grants, being offered good jobs, having fantastic friends and being so fortunate that I can help others even while I help myself makes up for it. Sometimes, though, it's hard to understand why I can't achieve what seems to be so easy for other people to obtain. Or maybe it's all an illusion for them as well. Maybe they know when to accept that and take what their being given, even when it isn't very good at all. Maybe accepting something halfway decent, if you squint, stops you from wondering why you don't have anything at all. Is something always better than nothing? Will I be so stupid as to hope that something is possible where a possibility never really existed?

You know, recently I ran into my ex-guitar teacher from when I was 14 years old. I gave him my email and the first thing he told me is that all those years ago, when I was just a kid dreaming about KISS, that my intelligence and maturity struck him, and that he felt a kinship to me. I guess I'm simplifying it so as not to betray the beautiful but platonic affection attached to the email, but I'm very deeply touched by his admission. He stopped being my guitar teacher when he left suddenly (or was fired) under mysterious circumstances. I never saw him again until a few months ago - 17 years later. I remember being (platonically, but deeply) heartbroken and refusing to continue on with the new teacher at the guitar centre. It took me quite a while to find a new teacher elsewhere. I had felt so comfortable with him - that I could make the mistakes that one needs to make to become truly great. I never forgot how difficult it was to arrest that development. (Please listen to his new band with an open mind and a youthful spirit.) Whenever you feel quite deeply about someone, you always hope that they like you as much as you like them. It's always frightening to think that you're feeling what you're feeling all by yourself.

I'm starting a new book tonight: Miriam Toews' A Complicated Kindness. I'll let you know how that goes.

Keeping our Schools Safe

The Gazette editorialists get something really, really right...

The Gazette
Wednesday, November 02, 2005

This week, the teachers at Louis-Joseph-Papineau school in the north end of Montreal took the extraordinary step of walking out of their classrooms to gather in the school gymnasium - and refusing to leave until the school administration promised to take measures to keep them safe.

The direct cause of the teachers' action was a bloody fight between students on Oct. 19. Three students in a "welcome class" stabbed another student in the ribs, after first turning closed-circuit cameras so the attack could not be filmed.

The teachers accused the school administration of downplaying the incident, of calling the stab wounds scratches and of refusing to call emergency services at 911. The teachers also complained that young people who are not enrolled in the school wander its halls, making trouble.

Unless the teachers' complaints are completely groundless, which no one has suggested, then the administration is derelict in its duty not just to them, but to the 1,200 students who attend the school, one of the poorest in the city.

Poverty, to take that point first, is no excuse for a poorly run institution. Students from impoverished neighbourhoods need a calm, structured, safe environment in which to learn every bit as much as students from wealthier backgrounds. It is the job of the school administration and teaching staff to provide that environment.

The teachers called for security guards to be posted in the school. This might be advisable in the short term, to settle things down and to rid the school of youths who are not enrolled and have no business in the building. But in the longer term, other means need to be considered.

Prime among them is scaling down the number of students. A school with 1,200 students is too large. A 2002 study by researchers with the economics department at Carleton University found school violence rises rapidly with school size (measured by enrolment) and goes up "almost exponentially for seriously violent crimes."

Thirty-eight per cent of schools with an enrolment of less than 300 students reported at least one serious violent incident to police. Among schools with enrolments of 1,000 or more students, 89 per cent reported at least one violent incident.

The researchers also examined the difference between the public and private systems. Private schools are much smaller, but in a significant finding, private-school students experience the same level of fear of being attacked on the way to and from school as those attending public schools. But public-school students were far more afraid of being attacked in school.

It makes sense that youngsters cannot attach to a vast, soulless institution. It's time to rethink size. Piling everyone into a huge school to save money might be costing us more than we ever imagined.

© The Gazette (Montreal) 2005

The Cosmic Messages Book Club

Well, I've just finished reading two books. It's no secret to those of you who know me that I came down with the flu. I think rather than calling it the flu I'll call it my period of retreat. My newfound routine of waking up, eating, sleeping and waking up again afforded me much time to contemplate everything that I am doing and everyone that I know. Once in a while, when you have time on your hands to sort through all of the random information that the world spits out at you, you come across a rather remarkable message. A headline jumps out at you. A particular smell jogs a telling memory. Your overtly unpatterned train of thought leads you quite deliberately to a certain piece of knowledge that you didn't know would be crucial to the direction of the rest of your life. Well, yeah, I kind of had that experience during my period of retreat.

I never order books online. During my period of retreat I began surfing booklists. Why? I don't know. The point is that a title jumped out at me: The Myth of You and Me. Before even knowing what this book was about, I knew I wanted to read it. I checked out several reviews of this book and I gathered information about its author, Leah Stewart, and then I decided to order it from my local online bookseller. Yeah, I checked, it wasn't being carried in my local bookstores - at least none of the ones I could check online because, if you remember, I was in a period of retreat. Now, when you order from this bookseller shipping is free for orders over $39 dollars. This gave me the incentive to look for a second book. I found it rather quickly: The Traveler by John Twelve Hawks. It seemed like the best choice given its position as second choice. I placed the order and waited. The books came rather quickly. I felt like I was starving. I couldn't wait to start reading The Myth of You and Me, a book about broken friendships, self-imposed loneliness and heartbreaking lessons. I won't even go into the specifics of what I learned from it. That information is for me and, now, the two people with whom I shared that information. The point is that I learned a lot about what I want in the future and the ways that I will continue to deal with situations smelling at first glance of deep betrayal.

The second book, The Traveler, I just finished...maybe ten minutes ago. Again, it's funny sometimes how you inadvertently choose something that seems designed specifically for you. The traveler challenges traditional notions of the world - with its cut and dried histories, certain choices and daily routines. I don't know if the book is meant to alarm or to inspire. All it did for me is to confirm the direction that I have chosen for myself. It was an underscoring of what I already know, an extra support that propels you along a certain decision-making rationale.

Really, I'd love to go into further detail, but that's the kind of thing you do late at night, over some lukewarm Earl Grey tea, face to face, reading the truth from each other's eyes.

Am I a Nerd? 'Cause Seriously, Tell me the Truth...

So...I had time on my hands, obviously. Good night.