Americans LOVE to have their butts probed

There's nothing I love more than to see political angst in unusual places. I love it when people erupt, when they just can't hold it in anymore because the bull is so thick that they can no longer breathe, so it suddenly bursts out into the strangest places.

Recently, the Guitar God from the Holy Land and I were discussing "gear". Yup. That's who I am. I buy expensive makeup, I rail about politics and I actually get interested in discussions of "gear" and "equipment". You know...things....stuff...

So, GG and I wound up talking about the importance of "tubes". Which led us to the website of an apparently talented gearmeister who fully understands the importance of tubes, much like I understand the importance of NARS.

Ummm...the information on this site is...instructive. It started out as quite the colourful discussion about tubes:

You're a GUITARIST, aren't you? Then you must really enjoy your anus-stretching exercises. And now, for the perfect gift for ALL you butt-guitarists: introducing the ultimate anus stretching appliance.

The Metasonix TX-2 is entirely made of vacuum tubes. To be specific, three type 4BN6 beam modulator devices. They were intended for use in crummy TV sets as FM detectors, and were NOT meant for audio applications. (Yes, another crap TV tube.)

Only METASONIX knows how to apply these strange devices to audio processing. We know how to ream you guitar-sucking buttboys out, real good.

Calm down. Don't panic. Yes. Yes. I see it too. No, your collective sensibilities do not fail you. Your fantasies have not invaded your realities. You do, in fact, see multiple references to the human posterior in that "technical description." Please click this link and read the whole thing...for the best is yet to come.

As one scrolls down, one notices a distinct change in subject matter. One senses somewhat of a segue from one realm into the other...a correlation is noted and, well:

We feel that the TX-2 BUTTPROBE is far more extreme than the famed Sherman Filterbank, and far more tube-freaky than your mother's enema kit. Face it, butt-probing is a worldwide everyday amusement. It works for you, we can tell. And clearly, Americans LOVE to have their butts probed. Look at the freaks they vote into political power. Proper use of the TX-2 BUTTPROBE can be infinitely more satisfying than watching Tucker Carlson mopping his ass-crack with your girlfriend's hair. Your girlfriend might like it too.

And speaking of politics! Ann Coulter is up your butt! Al Franken is up your butt! Can't you feel them wriggling around in there???!?!? It's NASTY! And I'm afraid to think where Bill O'Reilly might be wriggling around at this moment!!

Only 100 pieces of the TX-2 will be made. It's a limited issue. GET YOURS QUICKLY!! If the TX-1 demand is any guide, these things will sell FAST. Buy it or consider yourself a buttplug boy.

Touché Mr. Metasonix. Touché. I must agree. Americans do like to have their butts probed, and thus, I predict huge sales of the TX-2 Butt Probe. Mr. Metasonix, I highly recommend that you produce more than 100 pieces of the TX-2. And when you do, enjoy your millions, Mr. Metasonix. Enjoy.